Not long ago my anxiety finally wrapped it’s dastardly fingers around my throat and choked the life out of me. I couldn’t function. Fast forward months and i was still struggling.
Common bad dreams. Usually induced by a bleed. The taste of blood would burn my dreams.
My dream state would shift into that pesky bad dream. First is the metallic taste of iron,blood. Followed by the recurring struggle of keeping my head above the water as i watch my family at the edge.
Iron & Salt.
More recently i had a new dream. I was face to face with a younger self.
He/I was angry.
“Look, i can’t take it anymore. I can’t take you anymore.”
Me?
“Yeah you! You’re not me!”
Yes i am.
“No you’re fuckin not mate.”
People change.
“This wasn’t change, you let it finally get it to you.”
Yeah i guess.
“…………”
What?
“I’ll be honest, i didn’t think you’d make it this far.”
Me either.
“Do you remember what it was like? You/I lived like we never knew when it would take us. When you think about it, that’s what normal people are like huh?”
That’s true.
” We accepted it, somewhere along the line you rejected it. I can see why. It’s time you accept it again. For their sake. Agreed?”
Agreed.
“Accept it.”
I’ve doing better since. I had a dream wake up call.
I’m starting to feel better.
Cody Spencer Photography 